My Life⚽️

On the Run Tour | Costumes

Things I Say While I'm Driving
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: /dinosaur screams/

beahbeah:

this website SAVED MY BRAIN when i was a stressed out college student who couldn’t stop flipping out long enough to prioritize. quite a few of you are still suffering through college so i hope this helps you too!! c:

sushinfood:

goofle:

She wears short skirts I wear t-shirts and we’re both getting sent home from school because its distracting to boys apparently

okay this one made me laugh

Tips for being a football fan: #33

jordanibes:

A penalty shoot-out is some traumatic shit so don’t be surprised if you find yourself incapable of breathing normally and your vocabulary has minimized to ‘shit shit shit shit shit’

littlelotte88:

feenybobeany:

sometimes i look at people on my dash and i think

who the fuck are you

when did i follow you

you’re not posting things relative to my interests

but i can’t unfollow you becasue i can’t remember why i did

it might have been important

This is the most accurate post I have ever seen on here.

wo-soccer:

I know this isn’t the best quality but this will forever be my favorite commercial for the USWNT

tattooedjehan:

*slams fist down on table* I JUST WANT ALL MY FRIENDS TO HAVE NICE HOME LIVES IS THAT TOO HARD TO ASK

betterthankanyebitch:

me leaving school